Life's Just Exciting!

Hard Habit To Break

2007-02-01T15:15:00.000+09:00

Are you a fanatic like me, or do you want to be one? Visit this site, now!

Made In Korea

2007-01-22T21:56:00.000+09:00

For more pictures, click here.

More Than Material

2006-11-07T12:07:00.000+09:00

Luis loves "reading" books before going to bed. By that I mean looking at the pictures while I give a shortened version of the story based on those pictures. Last night -- not intentionally because Christmas is coming fast -- we read the story of Jesus' birth. Luis was wide-eyed, what with the Baby lying on a stack of hay instead of a crib, surrounded by real animals instead of stuffed toys. Luis correctly pointed at the daddy and mommy. I supplemented with the three kings presenting their gifts. Afterwhich I asked Luis what present he will bring if he is to visit baby Jesus. It's taking him a while to answer so I thought maybe he really doesn't understand yet what I was talking about. I asked him once more, citing examples of possible presents this time. Toys? Food? Books? After a few seconds of silence when he seemed to be pondering my question seriously, my 3 1/2 years old son said, "I'll give Him a great big hug, Mom".

I was stunned. Too lost for words. Evidently hugs mean more to my son than I'd realized.

What's Your Choice?

2006-11-02T23:48:00.000+09:00

I should not have been surprised, given that eversince Luis will have preferences far different from mine and his dad. We went to Ikea a few weeks ago and just like our previous visits, Luis had a blast. He loves running around the maze, inspecting items on display. When we reached the Children's Ikea section, he rummaged through the stacks of different stuffed animals. He first twisted the giraffe's neck before throwing the animal up in the air (ooops, apologies to crusades against cruelty to animal societies. it was just a stuffed toy, and i'm already in the process of educating him on how to treat animals). He fiddled with the octopus' tentacles shortly thereafter. But when he finally made his choice of what animal to make his pet, he chose this -->

Now I have nothing against mice in general, but this one is huge. It's a rat! And my son cuddles and scratches it's nose as if it's the cutest thing in the world. I shiver at the thought of what other bizarre preferences he will have growing up.

Proof of my son's bizarre choice? We were in line waiting for our turn to be seated at a restaurant when the lady in front of us suddenly squeaked -- eeeeeeeeeee! Her ashen face was turned to Scabbers, my son's stuffed rat. She was visibly scandalized by it's tail that looks so real :) I hope the sight of Scabbers didn't ruin her dinner.

Bangkok & Ayutthaya

2006-11-02T10:58:00.000+09:00

Well, P&O is attacking again and even after two weeks I still haven't shared here anything about our Bangkok & Ayutthaya trip. Until I am able to shake this laziness off, please enjoy photo accounts of our trip here.

Note:
That Suvarnabhumi Airport is purely impressive is an exaggeration. Yes it is impressively huge...but it is also disappointingly drab. And the chaotic arrival exit gates will make you wonder where all the space has gone.

Lost...and Found! My son's videos

2006-10-08T23:30:00.000+09:00

Took these videos with pride, almost a year ago. Lost them for a while, then voila!

The Week In Review

2006-10-07T21:27:00.000+09:00

Monday: Had to bring Luis to his pedia for colds and early morning coughing that's been on & off for almost 3 weeks. Almost lost my cool when, after making an appointment Saturday prior, we still ended up the 15th patient in line! That despite coming on time. When I asked why, the doctor's secretary-cum-receptionist-cum-pharmacist-cum-cashier flatly said that's just how it is. You make an appointment for a specific time but if walk-in patients come, they will be entertained as if no appointments were made for a specific hour. Had I known, I would have shown up at the exact clinic opening hour.

Tuesday: Stayed at home. Decided not to bring Luis to school so he can have enough rest. Spent time at KFC calling travel agencies to finalize our travel plans for next week (more on this later).

Wednesday: So excited! Luis' school is celebrating Mid-Autumn Festival the coming Friday and everyone's "encouraged" to wear Chinese traditional costume. The stage mother in me rushed to the store to find my son one. Actually, he already has a costume but he doesn't like chinese-collar so I had to find an alternative (excuses for shopping, really!). To be honest, I was so excited because I thought Luis has a part in the programme (however small). He's been singing this chinese song complete with action at home so when the school administrator sent a generic e-mail saying the practices are going on smoothly, I deduced every kid is in it. Well, I thought wrong. I wouldn't dwell on it or my current sullen mood might get worse.

Thursday: I woke up to the sound of siren. Literally. Awakened by a loud, piercing sound at 5AM. Had to shake my head several times, trying to register what might the sound be and where it's coming from. Suddenly I realized it could only mean an emergency and my initial thought was to grab my sleeping son and rush out the door. Then I remembered the logical thing to do is to wake up my husband so we can check what's happening out together. When we opened the bedroom door the smell of smoke immediately registered. It was coming from our backdoor. I was about to open the door when Do grabbed my arm. He said if there's fire and I opened the door, the fire might rush inside the house, hurting me/us and providing easy access for the fire to get into our unit. Good thinking. I woke up my MIL and maid instead, so they're both ready for any eventuality. Do, on the other hand, went out the other door to get some info. He had to go out as the intercom to the guards isn't working. Turned out an aircon in one of the units at the 2nd floor, directly below ours, exploded. There was no fire, just thick smoke. The guards and maintenance people were there and the situation was immediately contained. On hindsight, two things bother me: one, why were we the only ones who responded to the fire alarm? every other unit in our floor remained close and silent. everybody seemed to have slept through it all; two, why didn't we just rush out when we realized there could be fire? what if we really didn't have the time to check out first before moving out? we could have ended trapped, right?

Friday: The Mid-Autumn Festival celebrations in school was a success. Luis cried for 30 minutes (which felt like eternity to me!) once we reached school, repeatedly declaring "I don't want to go to school!", but once the programme started he forgot all about his protests and was even comfortable up on the stage eventhough he wasn't supposed to be there. He was amazed at the sight of the "lady dancing in the moon". I should say the school had a pretty creative way of depicting that particular scene, with the lady dancing amidst a backdrop of a huge paper moon and an even bigger spotlight -- while crossing an overpass which happens to be almost in front of the school. Luis was even delighted when he realized the "lady" was actually his Chinese language teacher.

Incredible!

2006-10-02T23:12:00.000+09:00

I must be a masochist. How would you explain otherwise why I still continue reading INQ7 and Philstar everyday, when I have all the excuses in the world not to. Last week I was more angry (at all our bickering, grandstanding, politicians) than sad (for the victims, that is) over the news of billboards crumbling all over Metro Manila because of Milenyo. And today is no different. INQ7's headline:

No one liable in voided poll automation deal.

Isn't that just incredible?

What's P&O Got To Do With It

2006-09-29T22:04:00.000+09:00

I had a good cry this afternoon. It wouldn't have been a shame if I didn't do it in public, but I was at McDonald's and it was only 2 o'clock! Lots of middle school students and some yuppies still having their lunch. Argh. There were three ladies across the table who were looking...gawking...obviously wondering if I was a loony! I tried my once proven, foolproof tactic, of not blinking my eyes to prevent the tears from falling down. But it was no use. I guess the well is just too full to contain at the time.

I've been in this uphill-downhill mood for much of my pregnancy. Something that surprises and makes me uncomfortable. I wasn't like this at all when I was pregnant with Luis. Then, it was pure bliss. Now, there are just too many insecurities. Too many worries. I worry about how I will handle taking care of a preschooler and a newborn without help from extended family; I worry about entrusting Luis to the schoolbus driver and assistant going to and from school*; I am doubting the wisdom of putting Luis in a full montessori school and wondering if it's really what's best for him (to think that Luis has been in school for only 1 month!); I worry about getting old without a personal retirement fund and plan in place; I worry about being able to find a constant playmate for Luis, that he might be growing up "antisocial" because there is simply no one to bond with that's his age; I even worry about where I'll get the next set of menu for the coming week!

I am sure the fluctuating levels of P & O (progesterone and oestrogen) in my body is largely to blame. But I also can't dismiss the fact that most of my worries are logical, and are based on our current circumstances. I also know I am partly to blame because I really don't spill it out. When I do touch on my worries I see to it that I still sound and appear coherent, to the point of probably deemphasizing how much they affect me. I couldn't just blurt them out, like I want to. You know how sometimes just expressing how you feel, no matter how, can make you feel half better already? But I am too proud to do that. So I suffer. I saw this article in Mother & Baby magazine about what pregnant women are capable of doing as a result of their mood swings. One woman yelled at her husband for breathing too loud, would you believe? Another burst into hysterical tears, yelling "that's it, we'll have to give the baby away. this is no world to bring a child into", after learning of the news that an elderly neighbor was mugged. So far I haven't done any of that, or anything remotely close to that. Mostly I just keep my silence, and I know that's what's slowly killing me. Burying me deep into my depression.

I was so depressed the past few days I almost signed-off from blogging. Not that it would make much difference to anyone. But blogging is the only hobby I have left now and I know I will really, really, hate myself if I give it up completely. This P&O surge is robbing me of the passion to do things I used to love doing! My camera, for instance, has been sitting in my desk for days now, drained of battery power. Something I never thought can happen, ever. I don't have a clue as to how long this P&O will have its power over me. Happy, sad, angry, glad -- all within minutes. Crazy.

* Last Tuesday our school bus (actually it was a hi-ace van) almost had a head-on collision with a car, going home from school. The following day I pulled out Luis from the school bus service, one-way. Now it's a constant battle going home because he wants to join the "bus bunch", but I know I need to make a statement both to the school and bus company. And until something is done, I have no choice but to sacrifice my son's preferred routine. I hope it doesn't have any lasting negative emotional impact on him.

September 23

2006-09-29T22:02:00.000+09:00

Lesson learned. If you want your day to be extraordinary, you have to plan and direct it yourself.

Monsters In My Mind

2006-09-19T23:30:00.000+09:00

I am seriously considering giving up news reading. I've noted the increasing number of crimes against and by children. Those kinds that will scare moms out of their sanity. Imagine these: a 10 yr. old girl killed her classmate by stabbing him with a scissor on the neck over an argument related to a project; 4 boys aged between 8-11 pushed their classmate to his death from a 3rd floor classroom; teenagers 11-13 open-fired on unsuspecting students at a school in America, killing about 5 before committing suicides themselves. Two days ago a mom from my son's school was telling me how there are all sorts of bullies in local primary schools here (of course it could also be true everywhere else), so the only way for our kids to survive is to master karate or taekwondo. The other month a nanny took off with her 1 year old charge. Police found the child later abandoned in a cafe on the opposite side of the island. What's scary is that the nanny got away with only deportation for punishment, apparently due to plea of insanity!

I realize I am probably only saying this out of panic. For what good will it do me, and my kid(s), if I'll keep us in the dark? The feeling and sense that the world is still safe will then be superficial. But what do you do when you're confronted with these events everyday, when all you really want is the safety, happiness, health and well-being of your loved-ones, particularly your children? The world has gone mad and there are all sorts of things to worry about -- bird flu, SARS, hand-foot-mouth disease, school/juvenile violence, child abuse, water pollution, food poisoning, terrorists bombings, kidnapping. The list could go on and on. Increasingly I am finding myself reminiscing about my own childhood, back when kids can safely play on the streets and on the farm. When indoor games and toys are only resorted to when there's a heavy downpour and we've already spent a good hour playing in the rain.

I wouldn't be surprised if moms in particular are already at this stage wishing kids are stuff they can put in and out of the drawer. Out when it's safe, in when it's not.

My son, Luis, is now 3 1/2. He just started preschool and in his school bus there already exists 5 year old bullies! A few days ago a boy started the horde of them chanting "I don't like Luis" just because my son wouldn't join in their screaming bout. This kid I am talking about spews nothing but the word "stupid" out of his young mouth (e.g. stupid car, stupid animal, stupid uncle).

In 3 more months Lorenzo, our 2nd son, will be due. Then my fears will be doubled. I am praying I'll have the faith -- that God will keep them protected and safe.

Antisocial or Simple WAGS Evasion?

2006-09-15T18:15:00.000+09:00

Has it finally happened? Am I now officially an antisocial? A loner?! All my life my mom complained about me having too many social groups -- at the church, in our community, in school, and then at work. Now all I want to do is find a quiet place, my favorite spot in my favorite Starbucks branch if available, and read.

This afternoon I chanced upon the WAGS (see 9/05 entry). Or maybe I should say the WAGS chanced upon me, since I got to Starbucks first. I was paying for my usual mocha frap decaf when one of them came over with a hearty hello and introduced me to the others. After a minute or 2 of the usual "hi, how are you" and "when are you due" I excused myself and deliberately settled in a spot where they can't follow. I got a small table beside noisy students who are probably doing a group work. I had the notion the WAGS wouldn't want to compete with that kind of noise, so I am probably safe. After a while I saw them took a table some 2 or 3 yards away from me. Alright, I did not completely hide okay? I just don't want to engage in small talks, nor bear the boredom of having to listen to their discussions which will probably be totally alien to me anyway. I also figured they might not want the inconvenience of having to include me in their discussion. And besides, this daily routine is too precious for me. It's my daily private, quiet, time.

If it was me from a long time ago they got to know, they'd probably find themselves a new, if occasional, member, at the very least. Back then I know how to get other people to want to invite and be with me. Now I just don't want that kind of involvement, or obligation. I'll be happy to indulge in 5-minute chitchats in school while waiting for class dismissal, and that's it. Or maybe they're just not the crowd I am looking for? Too early to really tell. I haven't really made friends with anyone or any group in particular here. Luis is invited to a birthday party two sundays from now -- by a Filipino family. I am assuming there'll be lots of other Filipino families there. Then we'll see how I'd react and feel about socializing and establishing friendships again.

WOW Philippines (as in where-oh-where?)

2006-09-14T17:45:00.000+09:00

I was surprised. Amazed. Saddened. Depressed. Frustrated! Where's our dear WOW Philippines?

I've been scouring the classified pages of The Straits Times for several days now, checking out holiday options that will give us the best deal - in time for Luis' one week school break in October. This break is especially important to me because October is my last opportunity to travel, given that I'm due to deliver in December. You know I need to unwind (as if that's not what I've been doing every afternoon since Luis started school, he he he). Anyway, considering our circumstances -- mainly my being pregnant plus having a preschooler along -- plus factor-in my security concerns (both physical and physiological - bird flu is as frightening as acts of terrorism to me), we are down to 3 options: Kuala Lumpur, Bangkok and Cambodia. Kuala Lumpur we can do by driving on our own at a leisurely pace, probably stopping by along the way if we see anything interesting. I'm giving it top priority because I am thinking I can do shopping for my 2nd baby's essentials there. The night market in Bangkok is equally enticing, but I doubt we can make the most out of it with Luis' traveling with us. Cambodia was not spared of the bird flu epidemic, but Angkor Wat and Siem Reap beckons.

Now you might say there's nothing frustrating at all about what I am saying. Let me get to that. It's the fact that several issues and days after I started my little 'research' and I still haven't found a single ad/promo/invitation/feature that will lure tourists to Manila, or Boracay, or Cebu, or Davao, or Palawan, or Ilocos, or anywhere in the Philippines! There's Incredible India, Bountiful Hawaii, Discover Korea, Experience America, Free & Easy China, Bali/Phuket/Maldives Getaway. Name them. But no WOW Philippines anywhere. Not even a single travel agency offering low fares to Manila.

Does this mean Singaporeans are not our market? Might not be the majority, but should we be totally absent here? In South Korea travel agencies actively promote all sorts of travel packages to the Philippines -- weekend golf, casino, beach, shopping. I can't believe we're ZERO here in Singapore. And to think that we Filipinos always include Singapore in our travel choices in Asia, especially with the introduction of budget airlines. Shouldn't we at least make our presence felt? Hey, Singaporeans, you have another option you know. We have great beaches, too. Beaches are not the monopoly of Bali or Maldives. There are interesting things to see in the Philippines as well. Heck, we can even promote our country as an educational trip option -- for students of well-off countries to see first hand what and how it looks like to be 3rd world. Okay you might not agree with that one, but I'm serious.

My point is if these Singaporeans are ready to travel to China to see the Great Wall, surely we can come up with something as interesting if not as grand. I'm sure they'll be as thrilled with our caves and other unexploited natural wonders. We just need to make sure we come up with a really good, interesting, travel itinerary for them.

P.S. Have you tried visiting our tourism site? I mean the WOW Philippines site? Really, that's where improvements are badly needed first and foremost. You know how pictures can make a difference, and our tourism site just sorely lacks interesting pictures that can lure visitors. Click on highlighted words (e.g. caves, beaches) and you'll be disappointed not to have enough views to see.

Solitary Nights

2006-09-10T20:30:00.000+09:00

Do left for the US & Canada and will be gone the whole week. Imagine, a whole week! I never really thought about it - about missing his company and being "by myself" for one whole week - until this morning when I started packing his suitcase. Suddenly I realized I didn't want him away, at least not for that long (a week without my husband is like a year to me). Of course I knew from the time he got appointed to a regional post that there will be lots of traveling involved. But I had the impression those travels will be overnighters, two nights away at a time, at the most. Some might think I am overreacting. But I so value our time together chatting about our day's events when he comes home at night I know I will sorely miss him every second he is away. Complicate my personal feelings with Luis' reaction upon realizing his daddy will be riding the airplane. Soon as he saw his daddy's suitcase, he marched into our bedroom demanding to be bathed so he can "go to the airport and ride the airplane". You guessed it right. He kicked and screamed and "turned his playroom upside down" when we explained to him Daddy needs to attend a meeting, and will just get him a present upon his return. I thought he was appeased after enumerating his wishes (a Lightning McQueen car, and another small red race car), but his tantrums just won't be quelled that easily. He fell asleep crying, and asked for his Daddy the minute he woke up and opened his eyes. I didn't have the heart to get mad at him for kicking and throwing things at me, after realizing how much he is missing his Daddy already. And that he's just expressing his feelings the only possible way he knows. This is gonna be a very long week for both of us, indeed.

Within 5 Years

2006-09-08T19:53:00.000+09:00

I was hit by the reality that I've lived almost half of my life if I am to base my life expectancy according to DOH's calculation of 72.8 years for the average Filipino woman (as of 2004). Of course there is also the probability that I've lived more than half of it already. The realization made me nostalgic. It made me think of what I have done in and with my life so far...

I visited a friend's blog and learned about Ellen Degeneres' challenge about making our LIFE LIST. Half a lifetime may be too long (and too presumptuous) so I'll set my target to within 5 years. Not in order, here are the things I want to accomplish:

1. Help Luis adjust to his new schedule, new routine, new environment. I'm talking about school, of course, and all the changes that come with it (meeting/socializing with other kids, maturity and responsibility, sleep habits, eating habits).

2. Successfully deliver and take care of my 2nd baby (oh, how different it is when you are surrounded by family). Honestly I am very nervous about this one.

3. Lose weight, lose inches. Ideally I should go back to my pre-pregnancy statistics (and I mean prior to having my first baby!).

4. Start and finish scrapbook backlogs (Luis' 1st year, Korea assignment, 2003-2005 travels).

5. Organize and manage all photo albums (print and digital).

6. Visit Europe once more (IT to include Spain, Netherlands, Germany, Denmark, Czech Republic, Austria, Greece, Turkey).

7. Find a job (home-based, part-time; could also be full time once our 2nd baby starts schooling).

8. Do volunteer work, or get involved in projects by Unicef, Habitat for Humanity, Greenpeace and the like.

9. Learn to speak Spanish.

10. Write an article and get published!

11. Trace all my elementary, high school, and college friends and get in touch with them (better if reunions can be organized thereafter).

12. Enroll in photography (doesn't matter if I haven't saved enough money to get all the needed equipment).

13. Make our family tree.

14. Finally get a facial, and make having one a routine. I am not getting any younger!

15. Read once again about the world history, and Greek mythology.

If I am lucky to live "the remaining half" of my life, to grow old, what memories will accompany and help me pass the time? Pardon me but let this be the subject of my next entry.

Random Musings #1

2006-09-05T18:56:00.000+09:00

So near and yet so far. Too many and yet too few. So much time, and yet no time to do what I really want to do. I don't know if there is such a word but I think I am domestically-burnt out.

I complain, I worry, about every little thing I see around the house. Every "failure" in my attempt to be a good mom, a good housewife. Why is it that no matter how much I try to explain to my helper why she needs to hang Luis' shirts instead of putting them in the dryer, the shirts still end up machine dried anyway? And to think that I don't even ask her to "do the machine washing", I do them myself. Only sometimes the wash cycle ends while I am away and she will voluntarily transfer the clothes to the dryer. Her good intentions will then get drowned by her inability to remember my simple instruction on hanging shirts. And why does she insist on hanging clothes for ironing on cabinet doors - make it in all the cabinets' doors - giving you the impression there's a fiesta coming up and banderitas are a must? There are hordes of other little stuff that I should just learn to brush aside, or I'll lose my mind.

***

Did you watch the recent world cup? If yes, then you are familiar with the WAGS. No, not wags as in people who cracks witty jokes. But WAGS as in wives and girlfriends of the players. These wags are known for their fashion-consciousness, their shopping sprees and loud parties. Well, in my son's school there is this kind of wags. Mommies who look like they came straight out of a vogue magazine's page, wearing butterfly sunglasses, dragging their ultra-sized designer bags on their shoulders. There is no way you won't notice them because they stand out among the rest of us creatures from earth. While we keep our chikahan hushed so as not to disturb the classes, they seem not to mind at all the noise they are making as they chatter about their recent escapades (most of the time it's just about shopping, shopping, shopping!). Well, I shouldn't really be concerning myself about them. They seem friendly, afterall. They greet everyone like they are candidates for the local elections.

***

I haven't tried my hands on driving here, although I know I must and soon. I can't seem to picture how I'd work out the distances and the turns when I have to sit on the right side of the car, instead of on the left (they drive right hand here). My husband keeps saying it's not really hard when you get used to it. But I don't know. Maybe I really am the "conscious" driver he is accusing me to be.

Scary!

2006-08-30T18:47:00.000+09:00

Luis and I were walking towards Riverside Point for a boat ride (Singapore River Cruise) yesterday afternoon shortly before 5PM when a man blocked our way from out of nowhere, and asked for money. He said he was so hungry and didn't have a job at the moment. I had goose bumps all over my body right away. I scanned around, very discreetly, for signs of other people -- anyone -- who could help us should the man turn out to be more than a beggar, but found nobody! At the same time my mind was racing to think of things to say to the stranger to keep him occupied while I think of what to do (to give or not to give). I only had my coin purse with me at the time, with only a $2 & $50 bill in it. I was thinking giving him $2 might insult him, but I would hate to part with my $50 because my son was so looking forward to his boat ride. I saw flashes of gruesome holdup scenarios in my mind. My mommy instinct told me to give, give right away, or the stranger might just go berserk, pick up my son and hurl him out into the river behind me. In a split second I decided to hand him the $2 bill while apologizing for not having more to give. I was soooo relieved when he took the money, thanked me, and strode away. Whew!

******

Four nights prior to this scary experience, I brought a visiting friend to the same place for coffee and a boat ride. This picture was taken at the same spot where the man stopped us, and before I was reminded scary things can happen anywhere :( even at the most unexpected places.

Simple Pleasures

2006-08-28T23:33:00.000+09:00

Singapore wasn't dubbed The Garden City for nothing. The whole city-state abound with trees, plants & flowers. For its size, it surprisingly has a lot of parks. How many do we still have in Manila? Do we even have any other than Luneta? It's a pity we have the land but we don't have the love for nature and the beauty it provides...externally and internally. Anyway, what I really want to share is what we were treated to, accidentally, last Sunday afternoon. We decided to check out Singapore's Botanic Gardens and we couldn't have picked a luckier timing. The Singapore Symphony Orchestra was having a free concert at the park's Shaw Foundation Symphony Stage, and there were throngs of people watching, both locals & expats. The mood was juvial, especially with kids & teens playing and running on the open, grassy fields. Their spirits & energies undoubtedly bouyed by the orchestra's rendition of various modern music. Families came prepared with picnic baskets, including the elderly, even those on wheelchairs.

Spending Idle Time

2006-08-22T23:10:00.000+09:00

I have time to burn. Everyday since Thursday last week I have at least 2 hours of free time after dropping Luis in school. The past 2 days I spent mostly reading and writing. This sudden freedom is actually much awaited, considering that I was holed up for almost 3 months doing nothing but mommy-cum-housewifey chores. I had no one to talk to most hours of the day but my 3 yr old son. Good thing I had the internet or I'd lose my mind completely. Having this free time forces me to think of what interesting things to engage in. For starters I've taken a shot at vanity (yes, finally!) I got to visit the salon last Monday and had my first ever manicure and pedicure, Singapore-style. I still prefer David's in Manila, though, or the very special personal service by my Ate Melda. Hmmm....wonder when I'll have the courage to have a facial for the very first time?

Having time away from home has its pros and cons. The first good thing is that I am again able to do what I missed doing for a long, long time -- bum around at Starbucks. Do & I discovered Starbucks together during our dating days, when we'd have dinner together every night then head to Starbucks Rockwell after for some serious newspaper reading. We'd go there armed with PDI & Phil. Star and read from cover to cover, or until our eyes popped out of their sockets in tiredness. What we really like about Starbucks coffee shops is that you can stay in one the whole day with just a cup of coffee and no staff will give you the stare. No barista will make you feel you have to go after finishing your cup and vacate the seat pronto by dropping utensils, trays, and sometimes even chairs so you'd feel uncomfortable. When we moved to Korea, and now here in Singapore, it's the same Starbucks. As they say, you're really there for the ambiance. C'mon, I don't know anything about coffee. I can't tell one from the other unless the tastes really, really differs. So I will not claim to patronizing it because I am a coffee connoisseur. I am simply there to bum around, to hang out. These days I go to Starbucks armed with a bag full of this and that. Yesterday it was a booklet of raffle tickets we got for purchasing an LCD TV. It's a good thing no signatures are required because even I can't distinguish my handwriting anymore. My hands got so stiff and tired halfway through the booklet I felt my veins threatening to explode from the pressure of writing. Once you get used to using computers all the time sadly you lose the stamina to write long-hand. Today I finished sa wakas reading Life of Pi and started Jeffrey Eugenides' Middlesex right away. I said there are pros and cons, and here's one con. If you bum around at Starbucks between the unholy hour of 12:30pm and 3:00pm -- and you're pregnant -- there's no way you won't get lured to sleeping. Hahummm...

My Preschooler

2006-08-21T19:09:00.000+09:00

August 14 was our big day. I said "our" because I'm probably more excited and anxious at the same time as Luis who is starting preschool. I hope I did my best to prepare him for this big change in his routine. But who really knows what can happen, and for how long?

The School
After careful study of the whole "menu" of preschool methods available nowadays, Do and I agreed Luis will benefit more if he gets montessori training. And we mean the real montessori method, not a regular kindergarten or playschool with the montessori word attached to the school name. Being a first born, only child (for a long time), sigurista-type we feel Luis will learn more to be independent and secure in a montessori setting. We also like it that this method emphasizes and builds on the child's love of learning, promotes and develops comprehension and concentration and not just rote & shallow memorization and definition of information. I am not an expert on the montessori method, but if you are interested to know more, click here.

The 1st Day in School
The first 3 days in school was designed to facilitate orientation and familiarization of new students. They were short -- 45 minutes -- sessions with one parent attending together with the child. Our first day was uneventful save for Luis wanting to go home after only 15 minutes in the classroom! The directress (your equivalent of teacher) managed to engage him for another 15 minutes but after that he conveniently positioned himself beside me and got contented just watching the activities going on around him instead.

The 2nd Day
The second day proved to be a lot, lot, more challenging...and scary. Challenging because Luis did nothing the whole 45 minutes but cry and thrash about. How to get him interested in the many materials available to him and how to get him involved in an activity proved to be more difficult than I (and probably the directress') initially thought it would. Scary for me because I was beginning to ask myself if it will be the same scenario each day, for a long time. His tantrums get sparked by the slightest nod or comment or movement by anyone in the room. The school administrator and Luis' directress kept telling me afterwards that it's all normal and that they see the same thing happening all the time. We went home with my fingers tightly crossed.

The 3rd Day
After a few howls as we enter the school compound, silent whimpers as we wait for the time in the front porch, and a few kicks of protests upon entering his classroom, I had to totally leave Luis under the care of his directress so I can attend the parents' orientation at the second floor. Ten minutes into our meeting I got a positive nod from the administrator saying Luis was doing okay, and has stopped crying as soon as I was out of the door. When I went down for a peep (through the one-way mirror, of course) after our meeting, the kids were already singing their goodbye song and I saw Luis joining in despite the tears in his eyes. I thought my heart will break at the sight!

The 4th and 5th Days
I was both proud and sad. Proud because Luis, suppressing his cries, willfully entered school when one of the directresses took his hand and led him in. He was trying to be brave, to be the big boy I keep telling him that he is. He was greeted by his class directress and upon seeing her, he let out his tears and gave her a bear hug. I jealously thought, oh, that should have been me he's hugging! Both days he vomitted before the start of session. On the second occasion I happen to still be around the school premises so one of the other moms told me to go right in. Luis cried upon seeing me and proudly proclaimed "see, mommy will watch you" (he still refers to himself as 'you' most of the times). After cleaning him up I walked him to his classroom, and he went without protests, only a slight turn of head in my direction as if wanting to ask for the assurance that I will just be around to "watch him" even if he doesn't see me.

Today we missed the school bus because he vomitted again, this time at home, just when we were about to leave. After changing his clothes he tried another 'delaying tactic', declaring he needs to poop (eventhough he's done it twice already earlier in the morning). I was bracing myself for a bigger show of protests once we get to school. Surprisingly, when we got there he just went right in when he saw the door open and took the hand of the first directress he saw in the hallway. He was led to his classroom with only confident steps of a little boy who has finally found his school a great new place to hang around.

Where Have I Been?!

2006-08-19T15:53:00.000+09:00

I can't believe more than 3 months has passed since I last posted anything in any of my sites. I can't possibly use moving to Singapore as an excuse. We've been here, settled, for more than 2 months already. All the boxes have been unpacked, even the smallest of our knicknacks sorted out. I have my full time maid (yes, I was finally convinced to get one despite my initial decision not to, and you'll know why if you'll keep reading) for almost a month now, so I can't use being swamped with household chores as an excuse as well. That leaves pregnancy hormones as the only possible culprit for my unusual katamaran.

Stranded in Manila
So there you have it. The first of my many updates. We went home to Manila for a one-week vacation prior to moving to Singapore. That's when & where I learned I am 6 weeks pregnant. Unexpectedly Luis and I had to stay behind for 2 more weeks since I needed to go on bedrest. I was totally depressed, thinking at the time I'll have another difficult pregnancy. Thank God after 2 weeks the baby is okay and I can move about (although my OB would have wanted me to stay for one more month, just to be sure). It helped that this is my second already. I somehow know my body more and could tell when I need to stop and relax. I need not stay in bed the whole time after all, and our extended stay proved one of the best vacations Luis has ever had.

Singapore, Our New Home
Thanks to my supportive, organized, husband. By the time Luis and I got to our home in Singapore most of our stuff have been unpacked and sorted out. I actually sent Do a sketch of how our furnishings should be arranged, where to put which item, which he provided to KC Dat and I think that helped a bit in organizing things. The challenge, and I know you will agree, is in sorting out the little things we can't find the heart to throw away thinking that we just might need them in the future. I guess we all have that packrat mentality in each of us. Who knows what we'll need or who will need these little things one day? Better have them some place in the house, space permitting, for future use.

Housekeeping Challenge
The decision to proceed with our move despite my condition was a tough one. Considering my history, my OB would have preferred I stayed in Manila for at least another month. But I was worried that Luis will miss the start of school again, and that there's no one to look after Do's needs. So last May 28 we flew here determined to make things work out. I immediately contracted a part-time maid service to help clean the house and iron clothes once a week. Once a week wasn't enough but I am not willing to pay more than what a once-a-week visit will cost, so I managed by doing a little of every chore myself. Enough to sustain us until the part-timer's next visit. The big challenge is in cooking. I have always said I am not a kitchen person. I can cook out of necessity, and I must say I am not a bad cook at all. But if you'll ask me if I enjoy cooking I'd flatly say no. I'd rather clean the house, wash and iron the clothes, take care of the dishes. The clincher to our decision to get a full time maid is my being pregnant; that we'll most likely need one anyway when I give birth so better find someone now to train and get acquainted with. We found Racquel through a maid agency and so far, she's proving to be one of those good decisions we've made since we moved here.

Pregnancy Privileges, Pregnancy Blues
Now that I have full time help available, I can indulge in what most pregnant women crave -- sleep. I don't have to wake up very early to prepare breakfast. In fact, after breakfast with Do, most days I snuggle back up to bed and wait for Luis to wake up. The thing I enjoy the most now that I have a lot of time is taking care of Luis' needs -- bathing, playing, eating together, outdoor fun. Suddenly I realized he is growing so fast I might wake up one day with protestations of "mommy, i want to bathe myself, i'm a big boy now"! And besides, once our new baby comes who knows how much time I can still devote to both? Luis is also starting school this August (I'll talk about this more in my next entry) and pretty soon, his world will be beyond Mommy and Daddy. Then I might pull my hair in frustration if I don't make the most out of our time together now.

There you have it, in a nutshell. Updating my site would have been much easier had I not forgotten how to do most of the editing. I figured since I was gone for a long time, I should give my site a fresh look in time for my coming back announcement. It might take a while before I am able to put some trimmings again so please make do with what I was able to put up for now. Till next.

Back To Chaos

2006-05-01T08:54:00.000+09:00

No matter how I try to organize everything involving our relocation to Singapore, the resulting physical chaos remains something that can't be helped. Days before we moved to Oakwood I started sorting and organizing small stuff in the house, carefully identifying what will be airshipped and what will be sent by sea. I packed our luggages with necessities to help tide us over the transition, including the items we are taking on our short vacation to the Philippines. I've herded most of them over to Oakwood but somehow the house is still in shambles.

A second trip back to our future ex-house helped put a tiny bit of order into our once OC-ly organized home. The sorting boxes are now in their proper places. Items tagged as trash are now out of the house, awaiting rescue by the collectors. Less and less of once useful stuff that are now really nothing but junk still remain, for further sorting (this is actually the most difficult part, because i can see value in everything that has some emotional or sentimental attachment to us).

The scene in our Oakwood residence is nearly as chaotic. The concierge people are evidently perplexed by my continous dumping of what to them might seem odd items. Can't blame them. I've got coffee, sugar and creamer in sandwich baggies; peeled garlic, onions and tomatoes in ziploc containers; half of a watermelon wrapped in plastic food seal; and all sorts of other left-overs at home that we can still definitely use while in Oakwood.

I miss my organized, highly-predictable, days.

Fully Booked

2006-04-22T08:02:00.000+09:00

Whew. I'm dead tired. I wasn't able to post for at least 10 days until now. My mom, 2 sisters and niece arrived last April 13 for a two week visit -- for the first time since we moved here in Seoul. Decided to be a gracious host and prepared a fully-booked IT for them long before they arrived. So now we've been hitting the streets of Seoul and neighboring provinces from sun up to sun down. Somehow I failed to factor in the effect of really cold weather to our body, we get tired and easily always leaves a sight or two from our IT unchecked. Weather here now is really, really unpredictable. Even frustrating. Last wednesday we had a sub-zero temperature which is highly unusual for spring. In another province it even snowed! Something awful is really happening to the only planet we have and our leaders are focusing only on the economy. As if economy can stand by itself. Hmmmp.
Anyway, i digressed. Today will be equally busy, as well as the next seven days. Until then I might only be popping in and out for some quick updates every now and then. Pictures will be posted soon.

Hey wait! I may be dead tired, but I'm extremely happy.

Please, Don't Pass Gas

2006-04-12T07:50:00.000+09:00

There's a reason why smokers are urged not to pass gas.

Singapore, Here I Come!

2006-04-11T12:24:00.000+09:00

Now that it’s official I can already tell you about the details of our upcoming move to Singapore. Whew, what a relief to be able to ask questions away without hiding half of the story or pretending they are somebody else’s. Being able to freely share with friends what’s been happening and what’s about to happen is liberating. Now I can pester people who are close to me about my plans, excitement, worries, and fears. Har har har, I’m wicked.

First, a little backgrounder. Do was offered the position of Regional Finance Director, and although it took a while for him to decide and for the office to finalize the details of his new assignment, here we are finally making hurried preparations for our move to the regional office based in Singapore. In three weeks time max, we have to pack and ship out of Seoul! This is the reason why we went there a few weeks back to house and school hunt (if you read my previous blog on this, there’s no way you couldn’t have guessed it).

A bit inconvenient on one side since we’ve only been in Seoul for 1 year 7 months, meaning, I’ve almost just finished unpacking and decorating – if you know how O.C. I am – and now we have to pack again. Add to that the fact that I’ve almost doubled my knickknacks. If I bring everything to Singapore, and chances are I will since I hate to part with anything that has value -- sentimental or financial -- it will be a chaotic move. I will need extra pair of hands, or make that lots of extra pairs, when it’s time to set up again. Plus, I will need to fit everything in a condo unit half the size of our current house. If you still think housekeeping is peanuts, think again.

Another challenge will be the heat and humidity. It’s still spring in Seoul and the temperature’s lovely for long walks. In fact, you’ll never sweat here except at the height of summer, which is really very short (to some people’s disdain). Singapore means hot, and humid, and sweat, and yes, body odor. As I’m sure you very well know, one doesn’t need to have body odor to be bothered by it. Have you tried riding the MRT and having the misfortune of standing or seating beside one with body odor? In most cases it’s not a testament to one’s hygiene, so I make sure not to judge a person instantly by his/her smell. Of course it’s important to be able to tell when hygiene is the issue, though.

Unlike in Seoul, we will not have a full time maid in Singapore. The decision not to have one was influenced by a lot of factors, and was almost just my own. First is the amount of “investment” we need to put forward as required by the government, in the form of monthly levy, personal insurance with a minimum amount of S$10,000, 100% medical expense coverage, and a S$5,000 bond which we can lose if the maid suddenly disappears or commits a crime. All these are of course on top of the monthly pay and other perks the government is encouraging employers to give. The second reason is the educational attainment requirement, which our current helper does not meet. I know that some recruitment agencies in Manila can make “miracles”, but I don’t want to dip my fingers on it and it seems that’s exactly what my maid is waiting for. For me to find ways again so she’d qualify, just like I did everything so she can have a passport despite problems with her birth records (she was given a man’s name, would you believe, and was recorded as a male!). Plus, Singapore has a “no direct hire policy” which means I still need to send my maid back to Manila, find a recruitment agency that will process her in-principle approval papers, go through POEA, etc. despite the fact that we’ve known her since 2002 and has stayed all the time with us here in Seoul. I don’t mind the POEA part but I do mind the recruitment agency bit. The last reason is independence. No matter how much I remind myself not to rely too much on the maid, it’s always easier to find excuses and before I know it, for instance, for 3 nights straight I left dinner preparation completely in her hands. So this time around, I’m determined to stick it out with only a part-timer who will come once a week to help clean up some and iron.

Despite all these (and more, which I will share in detail soon), just the thought that my son will finally be able to attend a montessori school and have regular playmates who can speak English is enough to buoy my spirits. That it will be convenient for my husband and me, too, in as far as language is concerned come as a bonus. At this point, my greatest concern is Luis growing up with a very limited social interaction with kids around his age. And I believe Singapore will be able to open opportunities for him in this area.

Don’t think that I’m heartless. I told Do I think I’m having separation anxiety and he laughed till his eyes watered. But this is another long entry and will be the subject of my next blog.

Spoiler

2006-04-08T14:09:00.000+09:00

Of all the days of the week, why does it have to come on a weekend? Such grand plans that include hiking up Mt. Nam and Mt. Bukhan had to be postponed as a result of the yellow dust blanketing the whole of Seoul. There's nothing more frustrating than something like this happening when the temperature is ideal for a leisurely walk at the park. So now instead of enjoying the cherry blossoms, I am stuck here at home. I am so running out of time. With the temperature jumping all over the 4-15 degrees scale or dust storms suddenly appearing, there's no way I'll be able to see all the interesting places I've yet to visit before we leave Seoul. Kainis.

Myeongdong

2006-04-07T01:10:00.000+09:00

You already know I am a boring dresser and lousy shopper. I wouldn't pass for a personal shopper even if it's the last career option left and what awaits me on the other side is starving to death. The point I'm trying to get at here is, what the heck was I doing in Myeongdong, Seoul's shopping mecca for the hip and fashionable? And on a chilly night at that!

I have a lot of catching up to do, that is why. We are leaving Seoul in about a month's time and I have not seen half of what it has to offer. Shopping in Myeongdong is said to be best done at night (actually from dusk till you drop), so even if my sole purpose is to observe its shoppers and find out what lures them to this place, I braved the cold outdoors and scoured its roughly 1 km stretch of shops. I reasoned it can't be that bad. Not when I am guaranteed a steaming mug of Starbucks coffee anytime I want one.

Good golly, Seoul is one congested place. I always comment about overcrowded malls and just about any other place you visit here. I never thought I'd find the same scene, on a winter's night, outdoors in Myeongdong. Not only that. Shoppers bring their kids along, probably because there's no one at home to leave them with and the lure of shopping is just so hard to resist.

At last, I saw brands I recognize (other than the really high end ones you see in Seoul's upscale department stores, e.g. Ferragamo, Gucci, etc.) -- Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein...there is a good assortment of local and foreign brands. There are even karitons offering good quality faux everything, from purses to bags to watches and all kinds of whatnots. You'll also never go hungry if you're game enough to try Korean snack food available at stalls that line up the streets. My personal favorite is that rice roll (warning: not it's official name) swimming in chili sauce. It was a bit disappointing to see the streets littered with wrappers, soda cans, and all sorts of rubbish, though. Certainly not very Korean (to me).

Well, I said I didn't go to shop but I still ended up with a pair of loafers, a sweater, a shirt, a tube of lotion, and some gift items for my helper. Overall, not a bad chilly night.

Beware of Hackers: My Personal Experience

2006-04-06T00:19:00.000+09:00

I never realized how vulnerable I am until this happened.

I was surprised to find a YM message from my niece in Manila this afternoon. Surprised because we don't always "talk". I thought probably she wants to get in touch ahead of their planned visit next week. When she asked where I was I got even more puzzled, but dismissed the doubt thinking may be she thought I am still in Singapore (because we went there last week). Anyway, I excitedly rattled on about their upcoming visit and tried to convince her to extend her stay for one more week. She did not comment and my messages got drowned by the flood of her messages that followed. She asked me if I can lend her P3,000 worth of globe prepaid cards/load, under the guise of helping a friend -- and getting some extra cash on the side -- who is vacationing in HongKong and who ran out of load. She said her friend is willing to pay her P5,000 in return because of desperation. After all, it is difficult not to be able to text and keep in touch with friends back in Manila.

I was starting to have doubts so I tried to delay having to actually do something about the request, and fished for some more information instead. Who is this friend; why won't she ask her mom to help her instead; is she sure she's helping a friend and not getting into a kind of internet scum, etc. etc. Her responses weren't exactly convincing so I worried that may be she is in trouble. Very vaguely I remembered stories about primary and high school students getting deep into betting scums that left them indebted to the tune of tens or even thousands of pesos. I also feared she might be being pressured or coerced even, by whom I wasn't sure.

So I called her mom, my eldest sister, and told her about my niece's highly unusual request and our whole odd YM conversation. Alarmed, my sister asked me to get as much information as possible while she calms herself down so she can think and plan . I guess any mother would react that way. My niece is 14 and at the peak of her campaign to be afforded a little more freedom. I expressed my worry about "breaking my niece heart" when she learns I told her Mommy anyway after her repeated pleas for me to keep this whole thing between the two of us. Fortunately I thought about sending my sister the supposedly new number that my niece provided. The number to which I should credit the P3,000 worth of prepaid loads. My sister called the number to find who owns it. It was supposed to be owned by a certain Marcus Cruz, 29, of Davao City. Instantly my sister knew it must be a fictitious name. Marcus claims not to know my niece. I tried calling the number to check if my niece will answer or I will be given the same information as my sister. I kept hearing the message "the number you dialed is incorrect". My sister tried calling again and got the same message.

Finally we decided it was time for my sister to confront my niece, and to let her know I spilt on her. I can always try and make up for her "loss of confidence" in me later. I was relieved to learn that I wasn't "talking" with my niece but rather with a hacker. You might think it funny but I'd rather admit I was almost fooled by a hacker than find out that indeed my niece got hooked by a hoodlum instead.

Nope, my niece wasn't making an alibi. I reviewed my YM conversation with my supposed niece and saw all the "little signs". Signs that gave me doubts but that I ignored because of excitement over a long exchange with my teenage niece, which doesn't happen very often. Those signs include her using "po" and "opo" which wasn't really her practice; saying "lola" instead of Nanay when referring to grandma; calling me "ate" at one point; and agreeing very easily to extend her visit here despite her earlier protestations with her mom.

I almost got hooked! This experience taught me to be more careful the next time I "talk" to anyone on the net, or give any information over the internet. Of course I would also encourage you to be wary the next time you are talking to "me" or anybody else on the net for that matter. Watch out for early signs of fraud, or don't be afraid to appear foolish by asking for identity authentication. We can never be too careful these days.

Lastly, take note. This is Marcus' number: 0927-3098595. The chance the hacker will use this again might be slim, but, who knows?

19 Months & Counting

2006-03-31T21:38:00.000+09:00

With eyes narrowed and eyebrows curled together in the middle of his forehead, the driver looked at me as if I'm a blabbering idiot. The look on his face actually said so much more. To him I was the most incomprehensible being to roam this earth.

One year and seven months after and I still can't speak Hangul, the Korean language, in a way Koreans will understand. My tongue, trained to speak Tagalog and English all my life, can't seem to deliver the bite required to pronounce, for example, the word "park" into "pakki". The weekly trip to my son's playschool remains a challenge to this day because my request for the cab driver to bring us to Dankook University doesn't sound right by the Korean driver's ears. Of course there really is no letter D in the Korean alphabet. Instead they use letter T. Several times I tried saying Tankuk instead of Dankook, but I still end up getting the what-are-you-blabbering-about look. The fact that there is no letter D in their alphabet also makes me wonder endlessly why they use it in the first place. And it doesn't end there. There is Busan, which is actually Pusan -- again because there is no letter B in their alphabet. Gangnam, which is actually Kangnam because they don't have a letter G. And here's one more. Their president's surname, Roh, is pronounced as Noh because the word Roh has a bad connotation (if I am not mistaken it means death or is linked to it). Why not just delete that surname from the list, in the first place, and officially replace all Roh with Noh or Goh or Poh? Hangul has many other quirks and, for the sake of being politically correct, I'd say unique qualities. But I will not go into that direction because I am not learnt enough to discuss them.

Sometimes I am lucky and encounter Koreans who are not afraid to use what little English they know to correct my Hangul. But for the life of me I can't tell what's the difference between the way I said the word against the supposedly correct one. My favorite example here is Hangangjin. Again, they don't have a letter J so you are supposed to use CH in its place. Doesn't seem very hard, does it? Try and say it to a Korean, especially one who can't speak English, and you'll understand what I'm blabbering about.

Everyone is saying the key is consistent practice. To translate that into action in my particular case means to go out in the streets more often -- take the bus, talk to the friendly woman in the laundromat, buy from street vendors -- because at home I am the only one who showed the slightest interest in learning the language. But time is running out. I might not be able to learn the language enough to commit it to memory so that one fine day, given the chance of coming back, I'd find surviving easier than the first time. My only consolation is that at least I can read Korean!

Why?

2006-03-30T08:24:00.000+09:00

Odd that I did not feel anything after reading my friend's e-mail. I don't know if I was numbed, in shock, or it was because I was already expecting it to happen all along. It was just a matter of time. Yes...for the second time her husband left my friend. Without a word, always in the middle of the night. No explanations, no reasons, no goodbyes.

When it first happened my friend cried, and I cried with her. She cursed and I cursed with her. She asked questions and I did so alongside her. Probably that's what's different now. Her email 3 days ago was so devoid of emotion. It was brief, to the point, and so bland such that my unconscious self would have probably thought to feel anything at the moment is to betray the way my friend is feeling.

And I couldn't blame her. The last time we talked I almost goaded her to cutting the ties this time. I couldn't understand how she can live with and continue loving a man who obviously only wants her back to serve his selfish ambitions. I was stopped short by the fact that I didn't have solid hard evidence, save for the circumstances surrounding their reconciliation which were all suspect. Despite my doubts I gave my friend all the support she needed and wished her happiness the second time around. She was all too willing to set aside her pain and give their marriage a second chance. True to her vow, she welcomed him back with open arms and resolved to make the relationship work. To spend the rest of her life with the man she loves.

How could something so beautiful end up so...bad?

I kept thinking about her last night. I can almost see her in their house, all by herself, working out the whys. Three days after her e-mail and the feeling's slowly coming back to me. It was like waking up from a trance. I want to comfort her, to hold her hand and tell her I understand. I wish we are nearer now more than ever, because I know that despite the strength she is showing, deep inside she's crumbling. But this time she will be too hurt to show it. When pride and dignity is all that's left, sometimes the only way to go is to pretend you're unaffected.

Hectic Hunt

2006-03-27T09:12:00.000+09:00

Riding a "london taxi" from Changi Airport to our hotel I immediately felt relieved at the sight and sound of familiar things. Signs that I can read and actually understand, tunes I can sing, brands I recognize. I can even identify with the weather, although Singapore's humidity is a bit higher than Manila's. I immediately fell in love with Singapore. Before we visited to house hunt I was having second thoughts about moving. Separation anxiety perhaps, because I've already made friends in Seoul and has gotten quite fond of spring and fall.
Singapore is like a beautiful, big, resort covered with luscious greeneries and fine architecture. Scouring its streets inspired me to go on and on with the house hunt, despite the heat...and the lure of shopping (discount signs everywhere!).

We saw at total of 10 condominium developments and ended up with 3 in our shortlist. Almost meeting our specifications but not quite as much as we'd have liked. Cuscaden Residences, our first choice, has elegant design and finishings. I particularly like its very modern, minimalist bathroom and the spaciously designed cabinets. If not for its rather small living and dining areas we would have sealed the deal right there and then. If I don't currently have big furnitures I would have still pushed for Cuscaden. That's not the case, however, and if I insist we'll end up having a more of a store room than a house. And oh, I almost forgot there are construction works nearby, which could mean noise all throughout the day. So much for the elegant, minimalist design.

Our second choice, River Place, has a resort-like ambiance, with grounds covered with infinity pools and fountains. The clubhouse and gym are really nice, plus it's idyllically located along the river with jogging and biking paths. Across the river, accessible via a nearby footbridge, are street cafes and quaint shops. The downside is the available unit which although spacious is much too dim (dark, even) for my preference. I have this feeling the dimness will sap our energies and push us to become lazy couch potatoes in no time at all.

The third in our shortlist, Tanglin View, seemed to be "the one"...that is, before we saw the bathrooms. Do just can't stand the tiles used -- both the color and patterns -- plus the rough and rather hurried, unprofessionally done plumbing. So despite the sufficiently large living and dining areas and the brightness of the unit we still can't bring ourselves to make the decision to choose it over the first two. Add to the fact that the unit is on the 17th floor. I can't help but think about Eric Clapton and the story behind his song (...would you know my name if I see you in heaven...would it be the same if I see you in heaven...), despite the agent's assurances that the glass windows are strong enough to resist a 3-year old's assaults.

I wish I have more time to ask around for opinions or look for more options.

Love Lucy

2006-03-25T23:35:00.000+09:00

Since I have more time than I can spend, I don’t only read the news now but ventured into reading lifestyle columns as well. This is how I discovered Lucy Torres. Of course we Filipinos all know her as that beautiful shampoo and Bench model married to Richard Gomez. But reading her weekly column at The Philippine Star gave me a wider glimpse into the character of this woman, who I now admire. Suffice it to say that if there’s one kind of life I want to have, or imitate, or duplicate, it is hers. In every column she writes is reflected her deep faith and moral values, dedication as a wife and mother, and integrity as a person. My admiration for Lucy lead me to research about her some more. Unlike most movie and tv personalities I know, Lucy has a college degree to her credit despite her forays into commercial modeling while still studying. Some less determined, less focused souls would have left school for the glamour of showbiz. Not to mention the fat paychecks that could go fatter with well-managed careers. Lucy wisely chose to finish what she deemed more important in the long run. I also found out we have some similarities. For starters, we are both confessed O.C.s (obsessive-compulsive). We both like organizing everything in the house, stacking things neatly in labeled cabinets and boxes. In my O.C.ness, in fact, I arrange clothes in the closet using 2 categories –color and usage! Like Lucy I also have a manual for the house help to follow, and I make sure rules are turned into agreements and expectations well understood. At the height of my O.C.ness and in my well-meaning attempt to make a previous helper manage her time effectively, I even made her a daily time table. But may be it was too much cause after a few months she quit. But I’m proud to say the lesson from that experience wasn’t lost on me. Last but not the least (and probably there are some more I’ve yet to discover), we’re both struggling amateurs when it comes to cooking. I bet that if only we will try harder we’ll both be better cooks but the desire just isn’t there. We both prefer to just enjoy eating our food.

Pleasant Dilemma

2006-03-23T18:57:00.000+09:00

Can't be more contradicting than that, can I? I got the idea from a friend who said I am lucky the things I am worrying about are actually pleasant ones, and I can't agree more. I am blessed my dilemma is in choosing which condo unit to rent, and not where to get the money to pay the rent; the smaller unit with opulent finishings or the bigger one that's a little dimmer, and not one with a leaking roof; how to fit our furnishings and stuff if we get the smaller one, and not where to get the funds to buy the furnishings; how to make it brighter if we get the bigger unit, and not how to fit the electric bill into my budget. The list of my pleasant dilemmas goes on and on...

This is all in connection with our almost imminent move to Singapore. We spent 4 days house and school hunting, and got back last night with loads of pictures to review. I am taking this very very seriously because unlike in Seoul, I am opting to stay in a condo unit this time which could mean less space (but more amenities within our reach). I spent practically the whole day today tracing locations of our condo shortlist in a map, studying accessibility -- concerns like nearness of MRT stations and/or other public transport systems, supermarkets, school, parks and playgrounds -- and other matters that will have a direct impact in our day to day life. I took pictures of every part of each condo we visited and now I am busy doing a mock layout -- where to put the sofa, where to place the cabinets -- in order to see whether everything will fit. I need to do all this because a decision on which condo unit to take is required by the end of the week!

Almost 10 hours in front of my computer looking at all the choices and I'm still confronted by my pleasant dilemmas. Size versus form; space versus light; high versus low. I hope I make the right choices in the end.

Honey, I Blew Up Myself!

2006-03-15T23:25:00.000+09:00

I can’t believe it. 3 kilos in 2 months! All the weight loss I achieved through constant brisk walking and mountain climbing before the winter set in is now history. It would not have been so bad if I am not already overweight in the first place. To make matters worse, I’m getting big in all the wrong places! This problem is not only about vanity. More importantly this is about health, and economics. The health issue I know everyone will easily understand. Now I am saying this involves economic concerns, too, because when you can’t fit in to your clothes anymore you’ll need to buy new ones. Shopping is the last thing I want to do, especially in Seoul where everything is so expensive. Add to that the fact that I’m a lousy, boring shopper. I can’t spot the right clothes (fabric, style, combination) unless displayed in mannequins. Believe it or not, that’s how I shop for clothes. I look at mannequins and when I like what I see them wearing, that’s what I buy.

Now going back to gaining weight and inches, I searched the net again and found some answers. Most are not comforting, especially since they’re tied up to age and, well, when you are in your 30’s already you’re not exactly young.

The first thing I found out is about women having higher body fat-percentage than men to begin with, courtesy of rising estrogen levels at the start of puberty. Then there’s the matter of getting pregnant. Once you’ve been pregnant, placental hormones increase your appetite and needless to say, this leads to faster fat accumulation….urgh. And finally, as you get older there is about 5% decrease in your metabolic rate, which goes on and on each decade! As if these are not enough, fat tends to accumulate under the abdominal wall, making you lose your waistline over time.

There are two things we can do to manage the situation. One is to increase our physical activity bearing in mind that our metabolism is continuously slowing down so what we used to put in might not be enough anymore. Second is to decrease our calorie intake. Supposedly a combination of these two will make sure we stave off weight gain permanently.

Easier said than done, I know, especially when the weather is not cooperating. With the temperature constantly at sub-zero levels I can’t force myself to go out and do my usual brisk walking. But no excuses there because if I really want to, if I’m desperate enough, I can be more creative and resourceful. There are other activities that are ‘physical enough’ to achieve the same results as brisk walking. For starters, I love dancing. Although it’s not fun to dance alone, I can always search for a dance group or club I can join. Then there’s swimming. There are a number of indoor heated pools around that offer swimming lessons. I just need to get over the fear (or shame?) of having to put on swimwear side by side with slim Koreans. And yes, I am just reminded I can also play badminton.

Just thinking about all these options makes me feel a kilo lighter and about 3 inches sexier already. I need to start at once and resolve to continue and keep going. Unfortunately, in real life there is no such thing as a magic machine that can transform me from being fat to skinny. Unlike in the movies, I can’t just shout honey, I blew up myself and expect to be transformed back to my once-upon-a-time slimmer me.

Expats In Manila

2006-03-14T08:41:00.000+09:00

I never thought there were expats in Manila as early as the 19th century until I chanced upon Ambeth Ocampo’s article on it in his book Looking Back. What surprised me even more was to find out that the elements surrounding expatriate life was the same, then and now – living in palatial houses in posh and exclusive subdivisions, free education in international schools for the children, nice cars, security guards at home, and of course the chance to have a number of helpers at a very low cost. Mr. Ocampo’s article detailed a sample list of expenses an expat family spends on a monthly basis, and it only amounts to a measly sum compared with the family’s earnings. And why not? They are, in the first place, spending their dollar earnings in cheap Manila. I personally know a number of expatriates who wouldn’t want to leave, and I don’t blame them. They get to live a life of comfort and convenience, surrounded by helpers who do everything from preparing their bath to picking the clothes they left on the floor. All these comfort and they still receive what is called “hardship pay”. I wonder if “hardship” pertains then to polluted air, traffic jams, and the occasional kidnapping of foreigners because really, if not for these, Manila is a paradise for expatriates.

I said paradise because on top of the perks and benefits, they get to enjoy the warmth of the Filipino people. Owing probably to our natural tendency to be hospitable, we don’t want our “guests” to be inconvenienced. We go out of our way to make sure they live a comfortable, convenient life. We always think of ways on how to make adjusting to our culture easy for them. In my previous company, for instance, the slightest “complaint” from any one of our expats would send the HR Team scrambling to their feet for solutions.

Until we became expats ourselves I thought all countries afford their expatriates with the same warm, friendly treatment. But our story is not the same as the expats in Manila. We are probably enjoying almost the same perks and benefits, but not the warmth and hospitality Filipinos are famous for. When my son got hospitalized due to mild pneumonia, no one from the company’s HR Team offered to help even though they knew we can’t read nor write their language. Neither did they send any get well greeting, fruit basket, or flowers. Something we always do in Manila.

No wonder expats in Manila stay a long time. It’s Manila’s people they don’t want to leave behind.

Goodbye Nappy, Hello Potty

2006-03-09T17:05:00.000+09:00

Potty training has been my obsession – and disappointment – for almost a year, until last week. Having relied mainly on parenting books and websites, which on hindsight might not be really wise since they contain only “western” concepts & practices, I never really gave potty-training much thought until Luis turned 2. Somehow I got my mind conditioned to just wait for Luis to show the ‘signs of readiness’; that there was no need for me to ‘start the learning process’. The alarm sounded non-stop when I learned upon our move here in Seoul that schools will not accept Luis unless he’s potty-trained! So the saga of my O.C.-ness to train him began.

I tried all the tips and tricks I could find in books, the internet, and from friends. All to no avail. It’s not that Luis wouldn’t sit or cooperate. He was patient enough to let me read to him while we wait for the ‘big thing’ to come out. Sometimes he would sing while playing with the tissue paper. Other times he plays with his favorite race car. But the task proved more challenging than I initially thought it would be. Months and months passed without success and I reached the point of frustration and despair. Luis grew tired of trying, and wouldn’t want to try and do it in the toilet at all.

So it was totally unexpected when he agreed to sit in the big potty last week to try and do his thing. And it was exhilarating to see him succeed! It just happened. Now he shuns his training pants completely. He does not even wear one anymore when he sleeps at night

Be Careful What You Wish For

2006-03-09T13:58:00.000+09:00

Months passed before I finally accepted I am no longer a career woman. I mean, I know it's probably harder being a homemaker -- a career in itself, mind you -- but for someone like me who's been in the corporate world as soon as I received my diploma, being out of it could be a shockingly abrupt and quite painful change. That's why I admonish you to be careful what you wish for, coz they just might come true .

Before my husband accepted the offer for him to work here in Seoul, I was half-wishing I am a stay-at-home Mom. Or may be not only half-wishing but fervently wishing I don't have to wake up early each morning and leave my son with his yaya while I worry about other people's worries and my employer-company's worries. I felt totally burnt out such that I firmly believed only a drastic change can cure my woes. But when Do discussed with me a possible move for us for 2-3 years in Korea, I panicked. What will I do in Korea? What is to happen to my career? Surely not when I am just about to get the position I've worked so hard for? At the end of a very long discussion of pros and cons, here we are in Seoul. I am finally a stay-at-home Mom.

New friends I met in Seoul would always tell me to give myself 8 months -- after which I will no longer miss the challenges, pressures and excitement of corporate life. My anguish took a little longer than 8 months, though. I would, each and every day, brood the fact that I don't have work and there is simply not enough "intelligent" activities for me to engage in. That my brain is slowly rotting! That the only way for me to be happy where I am is to find a job. Surely I can manage especially if I will only work part-time? Again, I should have watched my mouth -- or my heart? God listens to our heart's desires and just when I am slowly adjusting to my homemaker career, I was offered a position in my previous company. One that I've always salivated for. And I panicked again. I am in Korea and the post is in Manila. Do I pack my bags and head home? Of course I will bring my son, but what about my husband? Who will take care of his needs if I will be away? Luis will surely miss him. Another episode of lonely nights thinking about what could become of me, career-wise, if I accept the post, and then the final decision to decline. My family means so much more to me.

So now I am watching very closely what I wish for. I realized how much blessed I already am such that my wishes are actually just luho. Things that I can actually live peacefully and happily without.

Note: I first published this entry in my multiply site. I am republishing for the benefit of some of my friends who are having a hard time accessing multiply.

Musical Grease

2006-03-07T15:34:00.000+09:00

The first time I saw it was in the 80’s, in the movie starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton John. I remembered it long after because of its songs. Who to this day are not familiar with, or have not heard at least, the songs Hopelessly Devoted to You, Summer Nights, Greased Lightnin’, We Go Together, You’re The One That I Want?

Last Saturday we had the chance to watch its musical version at Chungmu Art Hall, starring an all-Broadway casts and produced by its current Broadway producers, Phoenix Entertainment. We went to see the matinee and actually heaved a sigh of relief upon seeing there are others, not just us, who came to see the show. We had second thoughts about watching because when we asked Do’s secretary to purchase us the tickets, she reported back in surprise that almost all seats were still available considering we’re buying only a week before our chosen date. She even faintly hinted we can refund if we want. The venue was actually almost full. Not a bad showing for a matinee.

The stage setup was very ordinary. I can readily name a few ‘improvements’ that will hardly have a dent on the producers’ profits – if I am asked. The production also failed, in my opinion, to make the casts look like the teenagers they were supposed to portray. Some really appeared as trying-hard-to-be-young-again wannabees, looking more like mothers of the teenagers they were portraying. Couldn’t they find young talents that they should use older ones and try and pass them off as teenagers by using the magic of makeup? Or was it just that, a failure on the part of the make up artist? They definitely look younger in their profile photos. Jamey Isenor as Danny Zuko is much too big and muscular for a much too small Hanna Liina Vosa’s Sandy. Laurie Taylor would have been a better Sandy, which made me wonder why she wasn’t considering she played the role in the US.

What compensated for these shortcomings is the singing. Oh but they’re really good. They sang with such ease you’d think everybody is naturally gifted in singing. And their voice quality and voice power are amazing. Hanna Liina made me think of Lea Salonga. Too bad I can’t remember if I really saw Lea portray Sandy before in a full musical, or it was just a pigment of my imagination (har, har, har). But I did saw Lea in They’re Playing Our Song and Miss Saigon.

Overall, it was a good watch. And, I understood for the first time that “greased lightnin’” is actually Roger’s car. Funny, though, that what made an impact on me – as in made me reminisce a little about my own high school days -- is not Danny and Sandy’s love story, but Patty’s running for the student body! Am I really getting old? Could getting old really be that bad? Oh, oh, oh….

Guilt

2006-03-05T00:44:00.000+09:00

It's past midnight already but I can't sleep because of guilt. I wanted so badly for my son, Luis, to sleep earlier than his usual -- meaning sleeping at a decent hour for a 3 year old like him, for a change -- that I've been freaking out the past couple of nights because despite his sleepiness, actual sleep seem to elude him. Last night he slept past 1AM. This evening we deliberately turned the lights out at 9:30 to give him time to slow down, relax and finally fall asleep early. I figured this will not be hard since I saw his eyes already drooping and he won't stop yawning. But almost 2 hours after he was still wide awake. It was as though the darkness of the night has some magical effect on his senses, waking him up and pumping fresh supply of energy to last him another 2 hours or so. In my desperation, I repeatedly ordered him to close his eyes and go to sleep. As if not being able to sleep was his fault and that he was deliberately disobeying me.

When he finally slept shortly before 12MN, I heaved a sigh of relief. That was more than 1 hour earlier than the usual. Guilt struck me hard when Do stressed he can see Luis really trying to obey me, but that somehow he can't force himself to sleep. Sigh...I can't argue with that. I think I saw his efforts, too. I am just so worried that sleeping really late is fast becoming a habit that might be harder to break later on.

Rice Terraces Not Unique?

2006-03-03T21:46:00.000+09:00

I grew up believing that only the Philippines has rice terraces. My teachers did a fine job of inculcating pride in me for being part of a race that constructed the magnificent Banaue terraces some 2000 years ago.

But one day as I was surfing the net, I came across a site featuring China through photos. And this is what I saw...

I don't know what this is called. I will start searching now. But I must admit my pride was shattered a bit now that I know the terraces might not be unique to the Philippines afterall.

3 Without A Party

2006-03-01T11:26:00.000+09:00

I was so stressed and so depressed at the same time last February. The night before I was to shop for items to put in Luis' birthday loot bags, it snowed. I realized that you can only appreciate the snow for a few hours, a day at the most. After that you get really worried because of all the errands that had to be put aside until after the roads cleared. It didn't help any that the temperature is way below 0 -- I wasn't sure anymore if "that day" was when temperature hit -14 degrees! -- suffice it to say that after the fun, you'd wish the now dirty snow will just go away. Not to be completely waylaid, I braved the streets the following day to visit the toy alley at Dongdaemun Market. I was shivering from head to toe! Good thing my friend Vivian was with me at the time and knew a Korean Restaurant that serves super-spicy soup (yum!). After about two hours of shopping, we slumped down the first available space we saw at the restaurant and literally ooohhed and aahhed at the warm, soothing effect of the super-spicy soup to our whole body.

We are supposed to have Luis' 3rd birthday party inside the U.S. Bases here in Yongsan. There's a bowling center there that hosts parties. All we had to do is make reservations and show up. But this is the first time Luis will be having a party with me as a stay-at-home Mom, so I figured I should prepare some more games and fun activities for all our guests. Compared with his 2 previous birthdays when I had to snatch time away from the office in order to make arrangements for his birthday, now I had all the time in the world. And then we didn't get to party.

A week before the end of January Luis started having cough and colds. To prevent it from progressing to a more serious condition I immediately brought him to Samsung Medical Center, flaunted to be the best and most modern hospital here in Seoul. To make the long story short, I ended up bringing him 7 times to 3 different doctors in 3 different hospitals. What's totally depressing is that after all these "preventive" moves we took, Luis still ended up confined at the hospital for 5 days due to broncho pneumonia. I was on the verge of an angry explosion and would have vented out my anger completely had cooler minds not prevailed. And why not, Luis got a "clean bill of health" just 2 days before he was diagnosed with broncho pneumonia! I wanted to sue the doctor who insisted we should stop giving medications to Luis because he is 100% well. I didn't believe him because I can see the symptoms. It's a good thing my instinct prevailed. I found another doctor referred by a friend and finally, the culprit for the cough and cold that won't go away was determined.

Luis ended up blowing the candles on his birthday cake at home. But a look at his expression erased my guilt for not having a real party this year. Why, he was just as thrilled!

Canada Beckons

2006-02-17T11:32:00.000+09:00

Two days ago I stumbled upon Jim Paredes’ blog about moving to Australia. My first reaction was, hey, we mirror each other’s reasons for deciding to pack and ship out. The difference is that Jim has reached that point – packing and shipping out – whilst we are still debating against ourselves whether we should pursue immigrating or not. Okay, I must be confusing you. We are landed Canadian immigrants. We got our passports stamped, secured our Canadian Social Security number, enrolled in British Columbia’s medical insurance program, opened Canadian bank accounts, etc. But that’s all we did in as far as migrating is concerned. We went back to Manila right after processing our papers, using the 3 years we have before we are required to stay in BC to re-think, re-consider and weigh all our options.

A lot of people would probably say, “Are you nuts, so many are dying to get approved and here you are entertaining doubts?” I relent. We are indeed blessed to have options available to us. But we can’t have our cake and eat it too, right? These same options are making it difficult for us to decide. Why go back to the floor when you are already in a comfortable, even luxurious, bed? Up to what extent should one sacrifice a secure present in exchange for an unknown future? Must we go back to A when we are already in V? It will not be an easy decision, especially for Do. Even though I admit I am for Canada, I fully understand my husband’s concerns and will not try to influence his decision beyond providing “what if” scenarios. I will play the devil’s advocate – or probably I am really the angel in disguise? – for as long as he needs me to. Anyway, we still have until the last quarter of this year to decide.

Works of Art

2006-02-16T13:44:00.000+09:00

Boy am I glad I always have my camera ready or I would have missed 'preserving' my son's works of art (done when he was 2 yrs. 4 months & 2 yrs. 8 months old)

The Edsa I Know

2006-02-16T08:58:00.000+09:00

Freedom from twenty years of dictatorship, twenty years of oppression, hardship, repression, injustice, corruption, greed, waste and near despair -- ended. Ended by a revolution of peace, prayers, Rosaries, radios, and above all, raw human courage. It is true: the Filipino is brave, the Filipino is honorable, the Filipino is great.

Corazon Aquino

Every Filipino in the world today stands a little taller and a little prouder. No longer the butt of jokes and the object of pity or derision, Filipinos can take their place in the council of nations because they are one of the few races who have done the impossible

Philippine Daily Inquirer, Manila
(an editorial dated on February 27, 1986)

My Seoul

2006-02-15T22:09:00.000+09:00

After 1 ½ years I feel I’ve lived long enough in Seoul to know everything I need to about the city – except, of course, the language. Quite a number of people I met here actually swear that to see Seoul is to see South Korea. They say it’s almost the same everywhere you go. A “great wall” of apartment buildings everywhere you look. Throngs of people in malls and subways, on the streets, and even on the mountains! The same mega-spicy food made even spicier by adding a generous serving of red pepper paste. Maybe I should really call this entry My Korea?

Seoul is not a popular tour destination for our kababayans, so I thought it might be interesting to share a bit of information about it and its people. Here goes:

- With a population of about 13 million, Seoul is competing with Metro Manila in terms of over-crowding;
- Don’t expect the men to stand up when a pretty lady rides a packed train car; but expect even the pretty ladies to do so when an elderly gets in;
- You don’t need a car to go around Seoul. It’s extensive subway system can get you anywhere in the city, plus some other nearby destinations;
- If you are a fan of street foods, you’ll be at home here (minus the free extra “seasonings” from vehicle dusts and smoke, of course);
- You’ll see patients roaming the streets – tugging their IV bags along – within at least 100 meter radius from hospitals and/or clinics
- Don’t be surprised either to see patients taking a break from their confinement by eating in nearby restaurants. You’ll even see some smoking in front of hospital entrances;
- You can leave your bags and valuables on top of food court tables to reserve a seat and get back after falling in line to get your food with everything intact (a miracle, indeed!);
- Vendors display their wares on the streets, and nothing gets stolen;
- You can leave your car unlocked in parking lots;
- The number of parking attendants can compete with the number of sales clerks in malls;
- Parking attendants can be mistaken for flight stewardesses (they’re impeccably and smartly dressed they can actually give the flight attendants a run for their money)
- The way they eat it made me think they’re scooping coleslaw…I was wrong. They were eating minced raw onions mixed with ketchup and mustard!
- Koreans are generally pustureras. The hairdo and make up of cleaning ladies in malls can compete with no less than Imeldific herself!
- Don’t fall for a Korean guy just because he drives a Mercedez. Most drivers here dress better than their expatriate bosses;
- You’ll need to visit at least 3 stores before you can complete your grocery list (at least if you’re a foreigner).
- Seoul is a good place to start a hobby, or get into sports. Choices abound, from mountain climbing, to biking, to speed skating, etc.

I could go on and on but I don't think it's a good idea to make this very long. I'll reserve the others for my future entries.

Blessing In Disguise

2006-02-15T18:21:00.000+09:00

We spent sleepless nights before accepting this assignment in Korea -- an opportunity that opened a wide window for Do's career, but shut a door on mine. We soon found it a good decision, a real blessing in disguise. The opportunity to experience life outside of what we are used to; to have a taste of a culture far from our own; to meet new friends and see new places. There is still so much more to learn. So many new things to discover. This is one experience I'd gladly go through over and over again.

Life Is Exciting

2006-02-15T16:26:00.000+09:00

It doesn't matter what happens, what we make out of life's experiences will spell the difference. Circle of influence, circle of concern -- this is one of the greatest lessons I learned from my mentor, Cecille. Even if sometimes the world seems too small and cramped, it is always within our power to influence it and achieve the impact we want it to have in our lives.

No matter how you look at it, no matter what it's made of -- life will always be exciting!