Life's Just Exciting!

Be Careful What You Wish For

Months passed before I finally accepted I am no longer a career woman. I mean, I know it's probably harder being a homemaker -- a career in itself, mind you -- but for someone like me who's been in the corporate world as soon as I received my diploma, being out of it could be a shockingly abrupt and quite painful change. That's why I admonish you to be careful what you wish for, coz they just might come true .

Before my husband accepted the offer for him to work here in Seoul, I was half-wishing I am a stay-at-home Mom. Or may be not only half-wishing but fervently wishing I don't have to wake up early each morning and leave my son with his yaya while I worry about other people's worries and my employer-company's worries. I felt totally burnt out such that I firmly believed only a drastic change can cure my woes. But when Do discussed with me a possible move for us for 2-3 years in Korea, I panicked. What will I do in Korea? What is to happen to my career? Surely not when I am just about to get the position I've worked so hard for? At the end of a very long discussion of pros and cons, here we are in Seoul. I am finally a stay-at-home Mom.

New friends I met in Seoul would always tell me to give myself 8 months -- after which I will no longer miss the challenges, pressures and excitement of corporate life. My anguish took a little longer than 8 months, though. I would, each and every day, brood the fact that I don't have work and there is simply not enough "intelligent" activities for me to engage in. That my brain is slowly rotting! That the only way for me to be happy where I am is to find a job. Surely I can manage especially if I will only work part-time? Again, I should have watched my mouth -- or my heart? God listens to our heart's desires and just when I am slowly adjusting to my homemaker career, I was offered a position in my previous company. One that I've always salivated for. And I panicked again. I am in Korea and the post is in Manila. Do I pack my bags and head home? Of course I will bring my son, but what about my husband? Who will take care of his needs if I will be away? Luis will surely miss him. Another episode of lonely nights thinking about what could become of me, career-wise, if I accept the post, and then the final decision to decline. My family means so much more to me.

So now I am watching very closely what I wish for. I realized how much blessed I already am such that my wishes are actually just luho. Things that I can actually live peacefully and happily without.


Note: I first published this entry in my multiply site. I am republishing for the benefit of some of my friends who are having a hard time accessing multiply.

posted by lala @ 1:58 PM