Life's Just Exciting!

Why?

Odd that I did not feel anything after reading my friend's e-mail. I don't know if I was numbed, in shock, or it was because I was already expecting it to happen all along. It was just a matter of time. Yes...for the second time her husband left my friend. Without a word, always in the middle of the night. No explanations, no reasons, no goodbyes.

When it first happened my friend cried, and I cried with her. She cursed and I cursed with her. She asked questions and I did so alongside her. Probably that's what's different now. Her email 3 days ago was so devoid of emotion. It was brief, to the point, and so bland such that my unconscious self would have probably thought to feel anything at the moment is to betray the way my friend is feeling.

And I couldn't blame her. The last time we talked I almost goaded her to cutting the ties this time. I couldn't understand how she can live with and continue loving a man who obviously only wants her back to serve his selfish ambitions. I was stopped short by the fact that I didn't have solid hard evidence, save for the circumstances surrounding their reconciliation which were all suspect. Despite my doubts I gave my friend all the support she needed and wished her happiness the second time around. She was all too willing to set aside her pain and give their marriage a second chance. True to her vow, she welcomed him back with open arms and resolved to make the relationship work. To spend the rest of her life with the man she loves.

How could something so beautiful end up so...bad?

I kept thinking about her last night. I can almost see her in their house, all by herself, working out the whys. Three days after her e-mail and the feeling's slowly coming back to me. It was like waking up from a trance. I want to comfort her, to hold her hand and tell her I understand. I wish we are nearer now more than ever, because I know that despite the strength she is showing, deep inside she's crumbling. But this time she will be too hurt to show it. When pride and dignity is all that's left, sometimes the only way to go is to pretend you're unaffected.

posted by lala @ 8:24 AM